PartyMom says, “Someday your face is going to freeze like that.”

Here it is…THE WEEKEND.  Tonight is Hot Blonde/PartyMom night so if you see a trio of tall, snarky, whiskey-swilling kitty-cats, that’s just us + 1 for good measure.  We’re def going to stop by the Portland Bridge Festival mixer at Radio Room.  This is their little monthly.  For more info, click http://pdxbridgefestival.com/

There’s also shenanigans at Branx (Freaky Disco!), Groove Suite (R9), Buffalo Gap (live music) and Report (crayons and DJs!).  Izm is at East, Doctor Adam will be at Tube and for once, I have no clue what’s going on at The Crown Room.  Carl, your favorite singing bartender will be there.  Tip him very well if you stop by…….

Do you have plans for Saturday night yet?  If not, I’d strongly recommend this at Dante’s:

The Greatest Rock Experience Of All Time REDUX; a heavy-hitting bacchanal of bonafide rock and roll!

Heavy Liquid is a phenomenon for the good people of Earth.  It is an undeniable force of hybrid genetics specifically designed for maximum face-melting booty-shaking rocking sweat down.  From the core of epic Seattle band El Steiner, Heavy Liquid delivers the subversive early works of Iggy and the Stooges, the birthplace of the savage sub-culture.  As the Philharmonic nails the fuck out of Beethoven or Bach so does Heavy Liquid nail the Stooges.  Celebrate your own personal existence and experience the pure glory of rock.

Queens Of Oblivion
In the year of the Scavenger, the Season of the Bitch…..The Queens of Oblivion channel the alien and alienated, the decadence and excess of glam and disco era Bowie.  Press your space face close to ours, love, and be transported into the age of androgyny with tracks off Ziggy Stardust, Hunky Dory and Station to Station . This set is faithfully recreated with its soul intact by members of March Fourth Marching Band, Stereovision, Climber, the Nowhere Band, and the Stolen Sweets.

DJ GrungeRuckus shows us that the power of plaid, the chain wallet, and your head still speak a common tongue…known as GRUNGE.  One of the Pacific Northwest’s orneriest DJ’s executes a mass raid on the SubPop label and YOUR music collection.  Mosh the hell out of the fact that Britney Spears became the next big thing….

Manhandel
Surprise secret weapon of pure audio sextation. You won’t believe your ears.

Master Of Ceremonies…ELEVEN!!!
“ELEVEN,” the world’s most “turned-up” legend of rock and roll, returns from rehab for a rare Portland appearance to host the show!!  Having rocked-hard with everyone, everywhere since the birth of the amplifier, ELEVEN will once again take the stage and blast friends and fans alike with stories, music, and his never-aging hairdo.  He truly is “ONE LOUDER.”

• Performance art by aerialist Ariel Brantley-Dalglish.

• Special Guest Appearance by StiltPoleDanceWunderDuo:  Jeremiah Guske and Scarlett Torrance.

• Burlesque Entertainment:  Sadie La Guerre!  Why settle for “Bombshell” when you can be the whole damn war?

• Dance performance:  The Good Time Girls!  Sexy at it’s most titillating.

• 8 dollars; 21 and over

I guess if The Best Rock Show of All Time isn’t your bag, I’ll recommend heading over to Branx/Rotture on the other side of the river.  Bass Boom will be popping off with Ben Samples, Cory O.  and Boy Meets Club downstairs while Rainbow Arabia and She’s on Drugs play upstairs at Rotture.  I believe there’s a $6 cover for these shows too……….

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Wanna hear something sad?  I’ll be visiting the family in Salem for the Thanksgiving holiday and have to miss this:

I die a little inside that I won’t see Joker here in p.town but I’ll bounce back.  Go and drink some whiskey for me next Wednesday night?

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For your New Year’s Eve consideration:

Tickets are available right now for $15 at Metro on SE Hawthorne or at http://www.brownpapertickets.com/event/86458.

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And it’s also Solovox-A-Thon time!  Everyone’s favorite not-a-DJ needs a new computer so he can blow our minds at Drop the Bomb.  He was robbed of the BeatOff Competition title by one point, the proceeds of which would have gone to said new computer so we’re taking up a collection lest he go and do something crazy.   Our deadline is next Tuesday where Nico Bella will also donate her wages from her Woosday cooking gig at The Crown Room and we’re at least 1/6 of the way to our goal!  If you are a true Solovox fan, we’re just asking $5 or $10 and we do take PayPal!  PayPal it to me at kerichang7 [at] gmail [dot] com right now so that Carl can be a good American next Friday and go shopping.  Please?  I’ll be your best friend……..

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The Brasserie Montmartre is newly renovated and reopened.  This was one of my favorite Portland restaurants in the 90′s.  Who wants to go with me before it’s rat/cockroach/pervert infested?  Hurry!  Let’s go!

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